IC Contact Post

[pale_blue_arrow]

This is Brendan Frye. If it's urgent, you might have a better chance o' tracking me down on foot. If I'm not answering, chances are I've gotten in over my head with something, not that I'm refusin' to give you the time of day. So leave me some words and I'll get back to you as soon as I don't have a fire to put out.

Comments

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[siriusly]

And just like that...the test is done. All I can do now is wait for a good score.
You're off the teaching hook for a little bit looks like!

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[pale_blue_arrow]

teaching you wasn't a chore or anything. you're a good student when you stop underestimating yourself.

and if you ever decide you wanna do college i'll help you study for the ACT and SAT tests too. dunno what you'd major in but it's a thought to distract you while we wait for the good news.

[siriusly]

I don't think my brain can handle another big test like that...
Did you know they make you take a PAPER test to get a driver's license?! This place is obsessed with tests!

[pale_blue_arrow]

you could. i believe in you.

yeah, they do that back home. hovercars are hard to get used to after the ones back home. are you gonna get your license anyway tho?

[siriusly]

OK, well maybe after a break, before it overheats...
License? Definitely. A bike isn't going to cut it for very long, especially if I want to go out farther than the core cities.
You said you were thinking about it too right?

[pale_blue_arrow]

yeah, i wanna get my license. you wanna cram for that together? could make it less boring.

[siriusly]

Sounds like a good idea to me!

[pale_blue_arrow]

cool beans. when do you wanna do it? can't be today, i'm hungover as fuck. texting you is the closest i've come to leaving bed all day.

[siriusly]

Hung over?
Why were you drinking so much?

[pale_blue_arrow]

i went to a party. trying to be more social, you know? i need more friends than the two or three i made the first month here. it seemed like a good idea at the time.

i mean i had a good time and nobody got hurt, i think, so it wasn't a wash. but i definitely had too much. i thought my healing factor would work through it if i took it slow...

[siriusly]

Guess you don't know til you try huh...
I'm glad to hear you had a good time though!

[pale_blue_arrow]

it was good. i haven't been to a party since before emily died so i kept getting this jittery feeling when i was alone but then i started talking to people and it got easier.

i don't remember the last time i laughed so much. it kinda makes me feel more real.

guess it was worth the hangover, all in all.

[siriusly]

Sounds like it was, if you ask me. A headache like once in a while isn't too bad...Doesn't seem to stop most people anyway.
You made some new friends, too?

[pale_blue_arrow]

yeah. and got to know some acquaintances enough we can reasonably be called friends, now. it's not like i'll ever be mr. popular or something but it was good not to be alone and hopefully i won't be, in the future.

[siriusly]

Well it's not about how many friends you have anyway...as long as you have people you trust and who care about you, that's important enough I think. Can't be on your own all the time, it just doesn't seem to work out that way.

[pale_blue_arrow]

i feel guilty though. it's stupid but i danced with this girl. veronica. friend of mine, maybe the best i have here along with you. and i really felt happy until i woke up this morning.

the last girl i danced with was emily. it feels like i cheated on her somehow. it wasn't even a romantic dance, veronica and i were just being silly and having fun, but still.

[Grief is hard, for him. It's not something he's used to and he didn't expect it to smack him after such a great night.]

[siriusly]

[a delay. words...how to word.]

I think I understand what you mean but...
Moving ahead, being happy, having friends...that can't be an insult to the memory of anyone who loved you. It would seem worse to force yourself to stay stuck and never be happy...like the good that person did wasn't enough to encourage you to keep going forward for them.
I'd think Emily would want you to be able to laugh and have fun again.
At least that's what I think.

[pale_blue_arrow]

one of the last things she said to me was that i need to stop torturing myself. i try not to. but sometimes thoughts just fall into my head and i can't shake them.

but you're right. she wanted me to be happy. she always wanted everybody to be happy. so i owe it to her to at least try. even though it's hard.

[siriusly]

Then it's a good thing it sounds like you've got even more people to help you find a way to do that.
Things are going to get better, Brendan! I can feel it.

[pale_blue_arrow]

i hope things get better enough that one day I don't feel guilty for having fun. that's not what emily would've wanted. when i was dating kara, emily was still in love with me but she stepped aside because kara made me happy. i know i should be trying harder to be okay again.

i think the party was kind of a success even if i feel weird now. i laughed, i played dumb party games with people, i danced. i did good, right? even if i got mopey when i woke up?

[He has no frame of reference, here.]

[siriusly]

[ah, jeez. romance stuff. he can only guess here.]

I think so. I mean nobody can be happy all the time, and I don't know anyone who turned a complete 180 after something really bad, even if they wanted to. That's just kind of how life goes I think...
I don't think you should feel ashamed for having had a good time. That part's OK.

[pale_blue_arrow]

thanks. for what you said and for letting me vent. next time we meet up i'm bringing you cookies. what's your favorite kind?

[siriusly]

Um...anything with almonds is good. You don't really have to do that, but thank you all the same.

[pale_blue_arrow]

i like making food for people. seeing them perk up makes me happy. besides, we gotta celebrate your inevitable passing of the GED somehow. maybe almond cake, idk if i have a recipe for that here, but i'll look it up

give me an excuse to make and eat delicious sweets, sunset.

[siriusly]

Haha OK I won't complain too much I promise. I'll be happy to eat good food if it was happily made.