IC Contact Post

[pale_blue_arrow]

This is Brendan Frye. If it's urgent, you might have a better chance o' tracking me down on foot. If I'm not answering, chances are I've gotten in over my head with something, not that I'm refusin' to give you the time of day. So leave me some words and I'll get back to you as soon as I don't have a fire to put out.

Comments

[pale_blue_arrow]

not on all subjects. but despite being an ace at a lot of subjects, you totally lack knowledge in others. it's more like you're intelligent without being worldly on some levels.

[lempereur]

To spend so much time sorting through humanity's subconscious, and still be so unaware. An astounding feat.

I have much to learn.

[pale_blue_arrow]

that's because some things come from interacting with people and you don't come across as someone who's done a lot of that. the subconscious is one half the equation, the conscious is the other.

everyone always has more to learn. what matters is how you decide to act, knowing that.

[lempereur]

Really, only in the past year or so. My upbringing was

Intentionally isolated, I suppose.

[pale_blue_arrow]

you don't have to be isolated anymore. my upbringing wasn't healthy, either. but it doesn't have to define you. you can move past it. i know you can; you're already making a lot of strides towards a more social life.

i believe in you. and if you wanna talk about it, i'm all ears. whenever you need me. okay?

[lempereur]

I know. Things have been getting better since I escaped that, but being thrown into a new world, and this constellation business has presented setbacks. I am working on fixing things now.

Thank you, Brendan. You are being better to me than I deserve.

[pale_blue_arrow]

constellation are predators, you shouldn't feel bad about them getting to you. monsters know how to get to the best of us. and you're still doing good anyway. once we've got them out of the picture, your life is gonna be a lot better. not perfect, nothing's ever perfect. but better.

if you keep talking down about yourself with all this 'i don't deserve this' and 'i'm not worthy of that', though, i swear to santa margarita y las flores i will send texts to both your boyfriends saying we tried knifeplay and you're not into that kink but you've got a hair kink they may wanna explore. stop invalidating yourself and putting yourself down and ripping into yourself for every mistake. it doesn't fix the mistakes and it doesn't do your mental health any good.

[lempereur]

I joined of my own will. They have done, and will do, many terrible things, but I decided to join. I was not preyed upon.

Do not.

You know it wasn't like that.

I have no idea what you mean by hair kink.

[pale_blue_arrow]

you sound like me when i was eleven swearing to everyone it wasn't statutory rape because i started it. some shit is wrong no matter who made the first move, yusuke.

i will, if you don't stop acting like you hate yourself.

hair kinks are many but the most common is people who like to have their hair yanked on during sex. which yours is definitely long enough for, so it'd be a believable lie.

[lempereur]

You are right.

No more.

That might be...

Believable.

[pale_blue_arrow]

good. just, stop hating on yourself, please.

and yeah i have zero inkling of what you're actually into and i don't want to know but. the haircut makes it plausible sounding, since you're a private person and nobody could guess what you're into. being closed off is a double edged sword in a lot of ways.

[lempereur]

Really? Zero inkling? You seem to have a lot of ideas about it. Between this and the seductive vampire fantasy, I mean.

You wear your hair long, too.

[pale_blue_arrow]

vampire fantasy? i liked you cutting my arm because i'm into pain, that doesn't imply the rest of that.

yeah, because i like having my hair played with or yanked when i'm making out or having sex with someone and my hair when i was younger wasn't long enough to get that to work so my now-departed girlfriend and i talked about it a year and a half ago and decided to let it grow out.

but your mileage may vary on how sexy you find it yourself. no two people are exactly the same, sexuality is personal, blah blah blah.

[lempereur]

You said something about vampire costumes...

But none of that is news. I remember.

[pale_blue_arrow]

it'd make a good halloween costume for you. personally i'm still undecided on my costume. either gonna be mothman or the jersey devil because i was really into that stuff when i was 8-10. i went through a big monster phase.

thank you, by the way, for never making fun of my curly hair. i get it from my mom and she's colombian so back home there's always this 'you're mixed, haha' undertone when people do it. and i know, i could straighten it, but it takes an hour and a half to do that every single time, you know?

[lempereur]

I like curly hair. And straight hair. Maybe you were right.

Anyway, it suits you.

[pale_blue_arrow]

it's a messy mop. and i know that. but it reminds me of my mom so I don't wanna cut it.

thanks. you're a sweetheart sometimes, doll.

[lempereur]

You have your moments, as well.