IC Contact Post

[pale_blue_arrow]

This is Brendan Frye. If it's urgent, you might have a better chance o' tracking me down on foot. If I'm not answering, chances are I've gotten in over my head with something, not that I'm refusin' to give you the time of day. So leave me some words and I'll get back to you as soon as I don't have a fire to put out.

Comments

[pale_blue_arrow]

yeah. and got to know some acquaintances enough we can reasonably be called friends, now. it's not like i'll ever be mr. popular or something but it was good not to be alone and hopefully i won't be, in the future.

[siriusly]

Well it's not about how many friends you have anyway...as long as you have people you trust and who care about you, that's important enough I think. Can't be on your own all the time, it just doesn't seem to work out that way.

[pale_blue_arrow]

i feel guilty though. it's stupid but i danced with this girl. veronica. friend of mine, maybe the best i have here along with you. and i really felt happy until i woke up this morning.

the last girl i danced with was emily. it feels like i cheated on her somehow. it wasn't even a romantic dance, veronica and i were just being silly and having fun, but still.

[Grief is hard, for him. It's not something he's used to and he didn't expect it to smack him after such a great night.]

[siriusly]

[a delay. words...how to word.]

I think I understand what you mean but...
Moving ahead, being happy, having friends...that can't be an insult to the memory of anyone who loved you. It would seem worse to force yourself to stay stuck and never be happy...like the good that person did wasn't enough to encourage you to keep going forward for them.
I'd think Emily would want you to be able to laugh and have fun again.
At least that's what I think.

[pale_blue_arrow]

one of the last things she said to me was that i need to stop torturing myself. i try not to. but sometimes thoughts just fall into my head and i can't shake them.

but you're right. she wanted me to be happy. she always wanted everybody to be happy. so i owe it to her to at least try. even though it's hard.

[siriusly]

Then it's a good thing it sounds like you've got even more people to help you find a way to do that.
Things are going to get better, Brendan! I can feel it.

[pale_blue_arrow]

i hope things get better enough that one day I don't feel guilty for having fun. that's not what emily would've wanted. when i was dating kara, emily was still in love with me but she stepped aside because kara made me happy. i know i should be trying harder to be okay again.

i think the party was kind of a success even if i feel weird now. i laughed, i played dumb party games with people, i danced. i did good, right? even if i got mopey when i woke up?

[He has no frame of reference, here.]

[siriusly]

[ah, jeez. romance stuff. he can only guess here.]

I think so. I mean nobody can be happy all the time, and I don't know anyone who turned a complete 180 after something really bad, even if they wanted to. That's just kind of how life goes I think...
I don't think you should feel ashamed for having had a good time. That part's OK.

[pale_blue_arrow]

thanks. for what you said and for letting me vent. next time we meet up i'm bringing you cookies. what's your favorite kind?

[siriusly]

Um...anything with almonds is good. You don't really have to do that, but thank you all the same.

[pale_blue_arrow]

i like making food for people. seeing them perk up makes me happy. besides, we gotta celebrate your inevitable passing of the GED somehow. maybe almond cake, idk if i have a recipe for that here, but i'll look it up

give me an excuse to make and eat delicious sweets, sunset.

[siriusly]

Haha OK I won't complain too much I promise. I'll be happy to eat good food if it was happily made.

[pale_blue_arrow]

awesome. i'd suggest throwing you a party but after that last one my gut instinct is that maybe we just celebrate with a cake and a movie or something and call it good. healing factors are not all they're cracked up to be.

[siriusly]

Haha I'm not very good about parties anyway, so please don't go to that kind of trouble for my sake.

[pale_blue_arrow]

fine. but when you become a cop we're gonna have a small party. just your friends and me and minimal booze, i promise. tons of cupcakes, though. and at least one pie.

[siriusly]

That's fair I suppose...as long as it's not too big a thing. But I can't really say no to food or friends, so...

[pale_blue_arrow]

that's the spirit. we'll keep it small and watch a buddy cop movie or something, nothing fancy or overblown. i learned my lesson about surprising you after you blanked so damn hard when i kissed you.

1/2

[siriusly]

wj;

[siriusly]

yEah well sorry for not being easy to read jeez!

[pale_blue_arrow]

shoot straight with me, here: is that the first time anybody put a move on you?

[siriusly]

Why does that matter??
Also i thought you had a hangover so won't too much texting give you a bad headache?

[pale_blue_arrow]

because if i'd known i wouldn't've been so blatant. i feel kinda bad about it and no, you're not getting out of this conversation that easily. answer the question so i know exactly how guilty to feel, sunset.

[siriusly]

You don't have to feel guilty about it because it wasn't like you were trying to do anything to hurt me it was just a misunderstanding! Things are just a lot different between Tobito and San Clement so please don't worry about that, forigve and forget

[pale_blue_arrow]

i got my first kiss when i was nine. my view of these things is skewed. i should've just grabbed your hand or something but i was afraid with your powers i might end up hitting you.

thanks for understanding. i know being friends with me can be a wild ride sometimes.

[siriusly]

Yeah well I'm sure I didn't make things easy if that's the case so don't sit there thinking you're a problem...there's a saying about two way streets or something right? Or dancing or something I dont remember but still, I'm half a whole problem by that logic and I apologize because I don't really get that stuff at all