IC Contact Post

[pale_blue_arrow]

This is Brendan Frye. If it's urgent, you might have a better chance o' tracking me down on foot. If I'm not answering, chances are I've gotten in over my head with something, not that I'm refusin' to give you the time of day. So leave me some words and I'll get back to you as soon as I don't have a fire to put out.

Comments

[lempereur]

Even so, I did not contact you to make your life more difficult, or to enlist your help. Although, I think I will need all that I can get. So, thank you. Sincerely.

You are the first of what I am sure will be many to bring up our sex lives. I may as well start getting comfortable with it now.

They treat me better than I deserve, don't you worry.

[pale_blue_arrow]

i'd volunteer my help for anybody in your situation. this just isn't right. you deserve better than this. i'm just sorry i was an asshole before. if i'd been helping you out sooner maybe we could've avoided some of this.

i'm not gonna bring it up on a regular basis or anything. you're smart enough to know communication is key - everybody talk it out and it works out, blah blah blah. it's the same as a normal relationship except cuddling involves more limbs. but yeah, expect people to act like this is somehow scandalous. people are prudes sometimes. just remember you don't owe anybody an explanation. if you're happy, that's all that counts.

they had better, with what you're going through. you need all the support they can give plus a therapy animal of some kind. maybe a shiba inu. although that's what couples do when they get really serious, they either move in together or they get a pet. and you might not wanna send that 'i am very serious' vibe just yet. still, it's an option to consider.

[lempereur]

It started before we met. I would say we are more than even. If anything, I will be in your debt, assuming we both don't get ourselves killed.

We know. We have done plenty of talking about it. I am prepared for questions, but whatever most people think of me is of no concern.

I can hardly remember to feed myself, most days. I do not need a dog.

[pale_blue_arrow]

oh, we're gonna get grievously injured and drink heartily when this is over. but you're not gonna get dead. futaba would kill you if you did. and then i would. and then your boyfriends would, too.

you're luck you're thin enough you guys can all fit on one bed. that whole twink artist look is very 2004 but it has its' advantages. well played.

it'd instill a sense of responsibility in you. plus animals raise serotonin levels in the brain. i'm not even fucking kidding, scientific studies were done. they literally produce joy.

maybe get a low-maintenance pet. a cat. kitsuke.

[lempereur]

That sounds pleasant. The drinking heartily bit.

I have no idea what that means.

My roommate has two dogs already.

[pale_blue_arrow]

we should all get drinks and make fun of a bad movie together. unwind. act our actual age for once.

sorry. i grew up near LA and i absorbed a lot of their terminology. i need to work on that, don't i?

then maybe try hanging out with the dogs. it helps your mental health and you're stressed, so. worth a shot.

[lempereur]

So many awful ones to choose from...

I like the way you talk. When you are not angry. It's eclectic.

[pale_blue_arrow]

we should watch a bad american movie remake of an anime. that way both our cultures are done horribly onscreen for our viewing pleasure.

eclectic is a lovely way of saying hot mess. thank you.

[lempereur]

That sounds terrible. I'd love to.

[pale_blue_arrow]

ever seen the butchered american version of sailor moon? it's a trainwreck. they added psas onto the end of each episode. we could make a drinking game and marathon that shit.

[lempereur]

A drinking game? Is it really that bad?

[pale_blue_arrow]

oh sweet summer child. if anything, i am honestly underselling it because i watched it as a kid, but even as a child i knew it was atrocious. even the theme song falls flat. google it.

[lempereur]

I was born in February.

This tag makes me wanna go reread Wintergirls.

[pale_blue_arrow]

it's a midwesterner thing. see, in indiana, kansas and minnesota, innocent or naive people are 'summer children'. assholes and self-centered people are 'wintergirls' or 'wintermen'. or at least they were until that book called wintergirls came out and now wintergirl/winterman means anorexic or bulimic.

my mom isn't even from the usa but my dad was born in kansas, did college in indiana, and lived in minnesota for three years. my vocabulary is a fucking disaster, and i blame him.

[lempereur]

Do you think I'm niave?

[pale_blue_arrow]

not on all subjects. but despite being an ace at a lot of subjects, you totally lack knowledge in others. it's more like you're intelligent without being worldly on some levels.

[lempereur]

To spend so much time sorting through humanity's subconscious, and still be so unaware. An astounding feat.

I have much to learn.

[pale_blue_arrow]

that's because some things come from interacting with people and you don't come across as someone who's done a lot of that. the subconscious is one half the equation, the conscious is the other.

everyone always has more to learn. what matters is how you decide to act, knowing that.

[lempereur]

Really, only in the past year or so. My upbringing was

Intentionally isolated, I suppose.

[pale_blue_arrow]

you don't have to be isolated anymore. my upbringing wasn't healthy, either. but it doesn't have to define you. you can move past it. i know you can; you're already making a lot of strides towards a more social life.

i believe in you. and if you wanna talk about it, i'm all ears. whenever you need me. okay?

[lempereur]

I know. Things have been getting better since I escaped that, but being thrown into a new world, and this constellation business has presented setbacks. I am working on fixing things now.

Thank you, Brendan. You are being better to me than I deserve.

[pale_blue_arrow]

constellation are predators, you shouldn't feel bad about them getting to you. monsters know how to get to the best of us. and you're still doing good anyway. once we've got them out of the picture, your life is gonna be a lot better. not perfect, nothing's ever perfect. but better.

if you keep talking down about yourself with all this 'i don't deserve this' and 'i'm not worthy of that', though, i swear to santa margarita y las flores i will send texts to both your boyfriends saying we tried knifeplay and you're not into that kink but you've got a hair kink they may wanna explore. stop invalidating yourself and putting yourself down and ripping into yourself for every mistake. it doesn't fix the mistakes and it doesn't do your mental health any good.

[lempereur]

I joined of my own will. They have done, and will do, many terrible things, but I decided to join. I was not preyed upon.

Do not.

You know it wasn't like that.

I have no idea what you mean by hair kink.

[pale_blue_arrow]

you sound like me when i was eleven swearing to everyone it wasn't statutory rape because i started it. some shit is wrong no matter who made the first move, yusuke.

i will, if you don't stop acting like you hate yourself.

hair kinks are many but the most common is people who like to have their hair yanked on during sex. which yours is definitely long enough for, so it'd be a believable lie.

[lempereur]

You are right.

No more.

That might be...

Believable.