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dear sweet santa margarita y las flores, you're in deep.

i'm gonna get you out. somehow. i don't know how. but this is probably going to get worse before it gets better. have you told either of your boyfriends about this shit? you should. i speak as a guy whose girlfriend was killed whilst in a gang i didn't know she was is, you SHOULD. if nothing else it gives the gang in question less incentive to murder/torture you because they don't want to raise any red flags with anyone.

if i thought i could make it work for you i'd say recruit me but it's too late now if they're halfway onto you. shit.

They know. My friends from home all know. Yuri's family even knows. It was someone from my own world that roped me into doing this with him at all.

Which is my fault.

I am in contact with the leader. Frequently. He isn't onto me. My violent outburst was very convincing. I play nice with his wild animal of a general, for combat training. I stockpile cards, spread his exaggerated propaganda, and help organize his Swear-Out protest.

If I was under suspicion I'd have been attacked by now, as careless as I've been.

THAT is not your fault. i love slinging shit and talking shit as much as the next guy so you know i'd tell you if i thought this was your fuck up, but this really isn't.

was that last network post yours? it seemed pretty rank-and-file but it was more stylized than the old ones. more human while still professional. if you're at the level of trust where they're letting you do that plus talk to the leader... well, if it were me and no one gave a shit i'd strap a bomb to myself and give the leader a big hug but you have people who give a shit, we're not going that route. besides, it might just pour gasoline onto the fire instead of snuffing it out.

any possible way to create distrust among the people within the org? that's what i did on my last op. destabilized the group from within by planting doubts in the head honcho's head about his second in command, kept the third in command on my side and convinced i didn't have it out for anyone. waited for that power-complex to turn people on each other.

it worked. it also got me killed, possibly. i was Ported in before my heart stopped beating. but it worked.

...thank you, but I can't keep blaming him for it. I joined of my own free will.

It was me. I volunteered. He was happy with it, we see each other somewhat regularly. Even disregarding collateral damage and my own life, killing him won't do anything, the nanites will bring him back. He needs to confess.

But there is plenty of dissent, already. Infighting. There is plenty I don't know about, I'm sure, everyone operates under codenames and I only know a handful of real identities. But what I did ended up being controversial.

You are not getting yourself killed over this. Whether you are brought back or not, I won't have it.

you need therapy when all this is over.

any way to record a confession? i got one off of your clone but i'm guessing security with the starry psuedo-socialists is a bit tighter. still, any audio you could scrape off of anyone could come in handy later. worth considering. we need every bit of ammo you can rummage up.

get a codename you're not supposed to know, covertly. leak it. attach a statement to it. that oughta put some blood in the water to show us which of these sharks is the most aggressive. it's not much, but it's a safe enough start. try and suss out who's sympathetic to you and who thinks you shoulda done what you did. keep lists in your head. or run it by futaba, she could do this shit half-conscious.

if you need a disposable victim/anti-constellation guy to haul in/meat shield i did kind of fuck you over with the clone thing. i have it coming and i'm more than willing. you need something done that doesn't have even a faint connection to you, somebody with a history of mental illness who only made out with you once is a good scapegoat. don't throw that option out just yet, dollface. we may need it.

Typically, we force confessions. But that would take too long. As far as recording one...maybe. He speaks just vaguely enough so that he isn't incriminated, everywhere but the team's own network. I am not willing to torture anyone else just to get a private audience with him.

I could leak Dooku's name right now, but the Constellation hasn't actually been caught doing anything wrong. Suspicious, sure, but not illegal. What good would that do?

I said no. I can stay as long as I have to if it means nobody gets hurt.

...how well do you know Futaba? You are not wrong.

we'll work on it. what're the chances he'd sweep for electronic bugs? or other recording devices in general?

throw someone else under the bus. why? because it'll shake people inside the organization who thought their net was so secure and so perfect and so infallible. because it'll make the other imPorts who've shrugged this off as no big deal go 'why is this such a big deal it required an anonymous leak' and the more people go 'no reason! nothing to hide here!' the more it'll look bad. because it'll get things off balance so you can establish yourself as looking into it and being concerned and keep dooku off any trace of what you're actually planning. it's the sacrificial lamb strategy.

i know futaba from one very intriguing conversation and she is smart as a whip. i trust her to run the numbers and remember the names and she's got your stamp of approval for contact, so she's trustworthy. i'm very glad she's on our side and not against us because they would never find the bodies if she went evil.

I never have been. But it's possible, if they suspect. They caught Adachi by putting a bug on his ear. A tiny piece of flesh, or....something.

Every name I know, he knows that I know. And it isn't many. I know most of them only by their codenames. We would need to gather more.

She is amazing. We can all agree on that. I would be dead a dozen times over if not for her.

Edited 2017-08-13 21:55 (UTC)

when they go high tech, we go low. old fashioned tape recorders, the bulky kind, are made of enough plastic they don't ping most metal detectors. something to think about when you've gone over this more, when we're sure if that'd be plausible or not. we need to build a mountain of evidence, and making mountains takes time.

then you and futaba need to get to work unearthing a name you don't know. otherwise this'll become a horrorshow very quickly.

She's working on it. They have people as good as what she does as she is, it's taking a while. But she will.

i'll see what i can do in the meantime. but it's honestly not going to be much. this is a big op, we're gonna spend weeks just in the planning stage, yusuke. i'm sorry. i want you outta this jam ASAP but there's no miracles in life.

but if shit goes south, tell me? not just because i'm helping you on this but because i wanna know you're okay.

I have no delusion that this will happen overnight. I am in a good position now within the organization, I can wait, as long as I get things handled outside of it.

Making amends, fixing my mistakes.

....I don't know if this counts. I just wanted to say hello.

I will keep you informed.

i managed to wreck the drug rings back home in three weeks but they'd already had a previous inside betrayal and also, i didn't have people nagging me not to die. this is trickier.

i suggest cuddling your boyfriends a lot. you need emotional support. shove two mattresses together if you have to in order to make it work. cuddles, art movie, snacks. a night of normal.

none of our conversations go the way either of us planned. it's unmazing and no, that's not a typo

you better. or else i'll ask futaba and get her to nag you. she seems nice, nice girls nag.

Did that drug ring include violent telepaths and shapeshifters? Everything is trickier here. It was much more simple for our team when we were the only ones with otherworldly powers.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to drag you into this.

Futaba is the kindest person I know. She's incredible, but persistent. Be assured that she will push me if I need it.

And I will start on the snuggling right away.

no, but that doesn't change the fact i want you out of it and want it uprooted and burned and the ground beneath it salted.

if you hadn't i'd've found my own way in, let's not kid ourselves. besides, you need the emotional support. well, more emotional support, i assume your boyfriends are also supportive. and futaba. futaba seems supportive in her own way, i just don't want to cross her.

good. go forth and snuggle them long and hard and no, that's not a sex joke. i'm sure you're going to get enough remarks about your sex life from dumbasses to last you a lifetime, though. people always have their minds in the gutter when it comes to poly relationships. apparently i'm the only one who ever mentally mapped out the kind of pillow forts that could be made with three people working on it.

that is also a suggestion. make a pillow fort with your boyfriends. it's what i'd do if i were you.

oh and tell your boyfriends that if they hurt you i know how to make hallucinatory drinks, hotwire cars and break into houses and i have demonstrably no chill so they'd better treat you like their siren prince or else. :)

Even so, I did not contact you to make your life more difficult, or to enlist your help. Although, I think I will need all that I can get. So, thank you. Sincerely.

You are the first of what I am sure will be many to bring up our sex lives. I may as well start getting comfortable with it now.

They treat me better than I deserve, don't you worry.

i'd volunteer my help for anybody in your situation. this just isn't right. you deserve better than this. i'm just sorry i was an asshole before. if i'd been helping you out sooner maybe we could've avoided some of this.

i'm not gonna bring it up on a regular basis or anything. you're smart enough to know communication is key - everybody talk it out and it works out, blah blah blah. it's the same as a normal relationship except cuddling involves more limbs. but yeah, expect people to act like this is somehow scandalous. people are prudes sometimes. just remember you don't owe anybody an explanation. if you're happy, that's all that counts.

they had better, with what you're going through. you need all the support they can give plus a therapy animal of some kind. maybe a shiba inu. although that's what couples do when they get really serious, they either move in together or they get a pet. and you might not wanna send that 'i am very serious' vibe just yet. still, it's an option to consider.

It started before we met. I would say we are more than even. If anything, I will be in your debt, assuming we both don't get ourselves killed.

We know. We have done plenty of talking about it. I am prepared for questions, but whatever most people think of me is of no concern.

I can hardly remember to feed myself, most days. I do not need a dog.

oh, we're gonna get grievously injured and drink heartily when this is over. but you're not gonna get dead. futaba would kill you if you did. and then i would. and then your boyfriends would, too.

you're luck you're thin enough you guys can all fit on one bed. that whole twink artist look is very 2004 but it has its' advantages. well played.

it'd instill a sense of responsibility in you. plus animals raise serotonin levels in the brain. i'm not even fucking kidding, scientific studies were done. they literally produce joy.

maybe get a low-maintenance pet. a cat. kitsuke.

That sounds pleasant. The drinking heartily bit.

I have no idea what that means.

My roommate has two dogs already.

we should all get drinks and make fun of a bad movie together. unwind. act our actual age for once.

sorry. i grew up near LA and i absorbed a lot of their terminology. i need to work on that, don't i?

then maybe try hanging out with the dogs. it helps your mental health and you're stressed, so. worth a shot.

So many awful ones to choose from...

I like the way you talk. When you are not angry. It's eclectic.

we should watch a bad american movie remake of an anime. that way both our cultures are done horribly onscreen for our viewing pleasure.

eclectic is a lovely way of saying hot mess. thank you.

That sounds terrible. I'd love to.

ever seen the butchered american version of sailor moon? it's a trainwreck. they added psas onto the end of each episode. we could make a drinking game and marathon that shit.

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