pale_blue_arrow | IC Contact Post

if you left me your journal i'd crack it open immediately.

in order to break out of a pattern people need an incentive. if everyone around is profiting/surviving/sustaining themselves off of being a soulless, self-serving monster, then you have no reason to question the morality of it because it is now your normal. and the same way you can't just talk to me and make me understand your normal, snapping those people out of theirs is a long process.

besides, breaking pattern means breaking from formation and then whatever group you were hanging with turns on you like vultures. not much is worth that, and i say that as a lifelong loner.

That is where we differ, my friend. I wouldn't want to lose your trust.

It's not so much about breaking other people out of their pattern as it is about leading with an example. I personally choose to believe that there is good in people that they will show us if just given an opportunity.

And I say this as a life long telepath. Which isn't to say that I have this trump card that you need to take for granted. But in the end it is a matter of faith and choosing how you want to live your life.

i'd do it because i'm waiting for pretty much everyone i know to either stab me in the back. it's nothing personal.

i think people start out good but that good can get drained out of them. and that if they don't want that goodness back, then there's nothing you or i or anyone else can do to make them change, no matter how many opportunities we give them. not everyone wants to be saved, chuck.

i say this as someone who grew up in a profoundly broken place: how a person wants to live their life and what life actually does to them are much more related than you think.

Well, that is personal, though. How long you think you're going to doubt me?

It's not about being saved or saving someone. It's about rising above of yourself and the social expectations. Not just social expectations but seeing the pattern of hatred and being able to break it.

I understand that you come from a sad place. But I don't believe that a person's surroundings mould their sense of right and wrong to those lengths. Being a decent person is not a thing you afford.

the only person i never doubted turned out to have been involved in drug deals and complicit in at least one murder so... give it some time, chuck, i'm trying.

but there's no benefit to most people to breaking the pattern. most where i come from stand to lose something if they do. some people stand to lose everything if they tried. you can't expect people to go against their self-interests or well-being, especially when they're just barely getting by as it is.

being a decent person is a thing that you CAN'T afford, sometimes.

I know that. However, I have to keep letting you know that you can trust me as much as you need to keep telling me that you can't, until you do. It's a dialog that we just have to deal with.

I don't think that poverty has anything to do with how likely someone is to read your diary, though. Not everything is about money and resources.

If you look at decency as something that only can be purchased with funds, then sure, it would be something you only can afford but most of the time decency isn't about money at all.

most people who tell me i can trust them have, in the past, been trying to get me into bed with them. and yeah i can hear you protesting that all the way from here before you even type it, that's not you, but it's taking a while to deprogram that impulse out.

i look at it this way: i have an ex back home. kara. awful person, from start to finish. but her mom is dead and her dad is perpetually drunk. she got into the drug dealing game to keep herself alive back in middle school. she pays the bills in her house. she's the reason they didn't lose the house to begin with. she is ruthless, the best liar i know and she has done things i don't tell people about because i don't know if they'd believe me. but she cannot afford to go straight. being a non-criminal would mean not having money for shit as basic as food, let alone college or a future. it would also make every criminal contact she's ever had turn on her. and the cops in san clemente wouldn't protect her, because she's black and they don't give a damn about black people.

i repeat myself, it's something some people cannot afford. it costs them all their friends, resources, and safety. i didn't part on great terms with kara but even i would rather have her be a criminal and be alive rather than see her try to go all noble and get shot or worse. not everybody always has the chance to be good. not unless you've got a time machine.

I'm glad you already know that, that is not me.

You don't have to explain to me why sometimes people have a hard time and I've never said that decency is all just about staying out of crime. All I'm saying is that if Kara were given a chance to not sell drugs, I personally believe she would take it. Just because people do have an inherent desire to be good.

And I will repeat myself, decency isn't just about crime. I haven't claimed that everyone has always the chance to be good. I just don't think measuring a person's worth by how much money they have is exactly very good or a decent thing to do. Not just people in possession of funds can be decent and not all people in the unfortunately poor conditions are awful people.

Every person is different. Not every victim of child abuse will grow up to be a violent person. Not every person who grows up to money ends up greedy. Not every addict dies of liver failure.

i kinda wish it was. you're pretty hot, tbh. but you're not into people in my age bracket. i can just sort of tell from how you act.

but you're overlooking the reasons why kara would never be given the chance not to sell drugs: because the justice system doesn't rehabilitate or protect certain people. and by certain people i mean lower class people, people who aren't white, women and especially people who are at an intersection of all those. she can't take a chance that's never going to be offered to her and that chance SHOULD be but it won't because she's black and poor and a lady.

everyone is different but that also means that some people are given less chances or none. some people are pushed towards badness by society's expectations of who they should be. and when they are, over time, they can come to believe that's the only choice, and then people who believe that, say, a poor black girl is destined to deal drugs, can point to her and go 'see what i mean' and keep the system going. so the stereotypes reign over us and she can't change because it'd get her killed, and THAT is the cost she cannot afford. even if she could make legitimate income, the switch over might anger people for whom that classist, racist system is basically god, and if they put a bullet in her, they know they could get away with it.

rich or poor, if the cost of being good is your own life, you cannot afford it unless you're borderline suicidal, chuck.

I thank you for that compliment but no, Brendan, no, I could never see you in that light. Though, I am sure you are a good partner to someone of your own age.

I have a friend who is blue, has no possessions on her name and very much a person of the fairer sex. She seems to be doing well for herself. Life is largely about decisions and choices. I'm quite sure you could find several success stories with poor, black ladies as well. I understand that it's harder to generate traction for some people for various reasons. But her situation is hardly impossible if those are her downfalls.

I might agree with you if your example was a child who grew up on a war zone or a little baby sold into slavery. These are awful things that happen all the time in the world and yet, we still find ways to be good to each other. It doesn't take much,
just a smile might change someone's life. Just a kind word might give them something to go on for another day.

A person should not be judged based on what the world has made them do. No one should be judged by their skin colour, their race, their heritage, or their social status and fortune. The change in the society starts from us, not from sinking further into victimisation of ourselves. It takes a lot of strength of character to change the circumstances that you are in, but it is not impossible. And I choose to believe that people are both capable and willing to do that.

IC Contact Post

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject