most people who tell me i can trust them have, in the past, been trying to get me into bed with them. and yeah i can hear you protesting that all the way from here before you even type it, that's not you, but it's taking a while to deprogram that impulse out.
i look at it this way: i have an ex back home. kara. awful person, from start to finish. but her mom is dead and her dad is perpetually drunk. she got into the drug dealing game to keep herself alive back in middle school. she pays the bills in her house. she's the reason they didn't lose the house to begin with. she is ruthless, the best liar i know and she has done things i don't tell people about because i don't know if they'd believe me. but she cannot afford to go straight. being a non-criminal would mean not having money for shit as basic as food, let alone college or a future. it would also make every criminal contact she's ever had turn on her. and the cops in san clemente wouldn't protect her, because she's black and they don't give a damn about black people.
i repeat myself, it's something some people cannot afford. it costs them all their friends, resources, and safety. i didn't part on great terms with kara but even i would rather have her be a criminal and be alive rather than see her try to go all noble and get shot or worse. not everybody always has the chance to be good. not unless you've got a time machine.
no subject
i look at it this way: i have an ex back home. kara. awful person, from start to finish. but her mom is dead and her dad is perpetually drunk. she got into the drug dealing game to keep herself alive back in middle school. she pays the bills in her house. she's the reason they didn't lose the house to begin with. she is ruthless, the best liar i know and she has done things i don't tell people about because i don't know if they'd believe me. but she cannot afford to go straight. being a non-criminal would mean not having money for shit as basic as food, let alone college or a future. it would also make every criminal contact she's ever had turn on her. and the cops in san clemente wouldn't protect her, because she's black and they don't give a damn about black people.
i repeat myself, it's something some people cannot afford. it costs them all their friends, resources, and safety. i didn't part on great terms with kara but even i would rather have her be a criminal and be alive rather than see her try to go all noble and get shot or worse. not everybody always has the chance to be good. not unless you've got a time machine.