I don't know what you mean by shtick, but I care about you too.
I
Hurt someone. Not my clone or my Persona, it was all me. And I hurt him very badly. I didn't know what I was doing, I let it get out of hand and he nearly died. I could make a lot of excuses. I had to, to protect other people. My hand was forced. I couldn't ask for help because I NEVER can and I thought i was being watched and didn't want them to be next in the torture line. Or he asked me to be as brutal and evil as possible so I did.
It doesn't matter what reasons I had because I did it, and that's that. The person I hurt says it's fine, but it isn't fine. I can't recognize myself sometimes. I can't sleep without spending hours drawing out a power to force me to sleep, or without Yuri there. I can't look at this man without feeling his blood pulse through my fingers.
There is nothing fine about it. But you are right, I need to be fine, for them, and for myself, and for my friends from home. One more just got here, and she was not happy about any of this.
So I'm pretending, but I'm a bad liar, they all know it, and I keep slipping up. That's why my best friend in any world won't talk to me, the personal jabs were just to twist the knife.
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Date: 2017-08-13 04:44 pm (UTC)I
Hurt someone. Not my clone or my Persona, it was all me. And I hurt him very badly. I didn't know what I was doing, I let it get out of hand and he nearly died. I could make a lot of excuses. I had to, to protect other people. My hand was forced. I couldn't ask for help because I NEVER can and I thought i was being watched and didn't want them to be next in the torture line. Or he asked me to be as brutal and evil as possible so I did.
It doesn't matter what reasons I had because I did it, and that's that. The person I hurt says it's fine, but it isn't fine. I can't recognize myself sometimes. I can't sleep without spending hours drawing out a power to force me to sleep, or without Yuri there. I can't look at this man without feeling his blood pulse through my fingers.
There is nothing fine about it. But you are right, I need to be fine, for them, and for myself, and for my friends from home. One more just got here, and she was not happy about any of this.
So I'm pretending, but I'm a bad liar, they all know it, and I keep slipping up. That's why my best friend in any world won't talk to me, the personal jabs were just to twist the knife.